Consent is freely given, specific to each time and act, and requires the ability to express your own likes and dislikes. Consent is when your choices are heard and respected. And consent is essential, even in a relationship.

Coercion ≠ Consent

If your partner is 

• Pressuring or guilts you into saying yes
• Making it unsafe to say no
• Manipulating you to push past your boundaries
• Ignoring your no again and again
• Making sex an obligation you have to fulfill

That’s a red flag of abuse and coercion.

Because if you’re afraid to say no, that’s not consent. It’s sexual abuse. 

Sexual abuse is when your partner pressures or coerces you to do something sexually that you don’t want to do. You can learn more about the types of abuse here.

You don’t deserve to feel guilt, pressure, or anxiety. You deserve to feel good. 

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You deserve to have fun and feel pleasure in your relationship, not pressure. 

If you want to learn more about consent and healthy relationships, you can check out the resources at we-consent.ie. There’s information for survivors, about trauma and its impacts, neurodivergence and consent, and how to support others. 

You can also listen to our Too Into You Podcast episode with Sarah Monaghan, on sex, consent, and boundaries. 

If you’re worried your relationship might be abusive or you’ve experienced sexual violence, you don’t have to go through this alone. You can 

Call Women’s Aid National Freephone Helpline at 1800 341 900

Use the chat service at toointoyou.ie

Call the National 24-hour Rape Crisis Helpline at 1800 77 8888

Tell your story at wespeak.ie